As I strolled down the dirt pathway with the stray dog I had found leading the way, I felt the indescribable. Pure bliss. Free of any anxiety, worry, doubt, fear, guilt, or shame. In that moment, I was free. I felt completely connected to my surroundings in that rice field in Bali. I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be. It was a familiar feeling, fortunately. It's a feeling that I live for. It's my end goal. But I get to experience it almost everyday now.
Fear is funny because it can disguise and manifest itself in many different ways. Ever since I can remember, I dreamed of traveling the world. Experiencing the different cultures and beautiful landmarks of each and every country. We see it on TV and in photos, why shouldn't we experience it in person? Fear, usually. Either fear of going, fear of change, fear of traveling abroad, fear of not having enough income, fear of not having the time, fear of not being "fit" enough etc... It's all fear.
Making the decision to move to Hawaii was the first "on a whim" thing I did. And it was crazy, for sure, but if I told you the feeling of pure ecstasy I felt on my first visit to Oahu, you'd probably understand.
My next decision to drive cross country and hit every national park we had time for was planned one month before taking off from New York - LA. My next choice to drop out of college and fly to a foreign country in order to dive right into a Yoga Teacher Training was something I could've never pictured myself doing. (But I did. Booking flights 3 weeks prior.) Or how about booking a flight to hike Yosemite 3 days prior to take off? From the beginning, I didn't think I could make it financially. If you asked me two years ago if I would've accomplished any of these dreams, I would've laughed in your face. I thought I would miss home too much. I definitely didn't think I was fit enough, or friendly enough, or knowledgable enough to travel to any of these places. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong annnnd wrong. The only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves.
It got easier and easier with each plane ride.. It's become more and more rewarding. And what do you know? Turns out, my relationships with those at home improved. I made it financially because where's there's a will, there's a way. 85 degree weather and beautiful snowy mountains proved to be worth it in the end. In Bali, everyone in my class was somehow at the same level. We each helped each other grow into incredible yogis creating an ever lasting friendship in the mean time. Hiking a 12 mile trail in Yosemite was exhausting and quite scary at times, but going into the hike prepared, there were no serious threats. Only beautiful views and breath taking moments.
Not only did I leave these trips with new family, but I left with a new me each time. A happier me. A more care - free, loving, compassionate, confident yet modest me. A me that loved myself, my piers and this planet more and more.
As I spent time in countless different places, many life lessons became clear to me. Judgement isn't a thing. It doesn't matter what brand clothing I wear in Bali. Chances are everyone's wearing Buddha pants and knit tops they bought at the market for $2 American. It also doesn't matter if I wear the same pants 3 days out of the week. As long as they're clean and comfortable. I don't need 2 closets full of clothing and shoes. (Time for a cleanse)
I realized that I am way stronger and more capable than I thought.
In my opinion, the challenge in life is the point. What would life be without a challenge? A challenge is what proves to us that we can do it. How would we know if we never got challenged? It strengthens us, it builds us up to be people who can handle shit.
What's the best feeling in the world? What do we all strive for? I can definitely speak for myself when I say it's that crazy, insane and euphoric adrenaline rush. The on top of the world feeling. That motivation, inspiration and pure excitement. That's why I want the things I want. Many dream of fame and fortune, some dream of travels and experiences. Regardless of the dream, everyone's striving for these things with the end result in mind - pure bliss.
Why not achieve this state now? Why not quit and go and make it work? Think of the worst possible outcome. Now live it. Play it out in your head. Feel the heartache or disappointment for a second. Okay. Now that's the worst possible outcome. On a scale of 1-10 what was it? Did it kill you? Injure someone? What serious affects does this have on the long run for you? Not as scary, not as many permanent affects huh? Once you live a moment, even your worst one, you tend to realize that it's not so bad after all. And the juice is almost always worth the squeeze. (Fully a girl next door reference)
So... what are you waiting for?